SimonSimple

Hi People

Over the National Day holidays my wife & I were across the causeway conducting a 1.5 day marriage enrichment seminar. We were truly blessed by the 13 couples. Six cars left in a convoy on Sunday morning and six cars returned safely around midnight on Monday. The drivers were armed with walkie-talkies to ensure that the cars kept in touch throughout the trip. The Liverpool war cry - “You’ll Never Walk Alone” hold true for this bunch of happy people. From them I learned what being “family”truly means! Whenever a car somehow got lost or trailed too far behind, everyone swung into action to guide the lost sheep back in line. Hokkien jokes abound through the airwaves and there was light banter poking fun at each other. At meal times, everyone was looking out for the next guy or gal. The driver & wife who picked us up and delivered us safely home at our doorstep deserved special mention. They knew how to make us feel special. In fact the leader and the co-ordinator and almost everyone else were the “perfect hosts”.

We had given the instruction that the “No Kids” rule was to be strictly enforced and lo and behold there was this young couple with a new born baby who surprised us with their dedication. They stayed to 9 pm plus on the first night, then drove back to Singapore to breast feed their infant and double back to the resort at 9 am the next day. They enthused that the seminar was too good to be missed and did not want to miss out any teaching. Indeed, our teaching can be distilled into this one statement, “Children are leasehold properties but your spouse is freehold property”.

At the end of the seminar there were free sharing by the participants. Because they found the instructors very down to earth, human & dared to be vulnerable they felt they could relate to us and were very teachable and ready to learn. Of course there were tears shed. But we felt it was a way to bid farewell to some unhealthy “past practices” and say hello to new mindsets. Some vowed never to address their spouses as “mummy” or “daddy” but darlings & honey from henceforth!

Some confessed to putting their children as their No. 1 instead of their spouse. Some shed tears of relief, I suspect, in knowing that there is better prospect of a happier life if they were to invest more in their relationship with their spouse (instead of their careers or their children) before they enter their empty nests years.

In a similar vein, I spoke at 2 places yesterday. At lunchtime, I spoke to 50 ladies & 5 men on “Speaking your Spouse’s Love Language” and then at 7 pm I had the good fortune to address 80 women from the NTUC affiliate unions. Each time I shared about the Power of 2, there were resounding “Bulls eye!” & “How True!” from the audience. Many of the women wished that their husbands should have been around to listen to such family educational talks.

Yesterday I left the house at 10 am and did not return home until about 10 pm. Being 12 hours away from my wife of 32 years already made me feel I miss her presence. I hope couples who are reading this would also miss their partners when they are occasionally apart while both are alive and kicking and not when one partner has kicked the bucket and both are permanently apart.

I believe in the Power of 2! Catch me in person at the following event in September!

September Movie and Talk

Talk Topic: Romancing for a Lifetime
Speaker: Mr Simon Sim
Movie Screening: The Ugly Truth
Date: 26th September 2009
Venue: Cathay Orchard Cineplex
Time: 1130 - 1500 hrs
Tickets: S$20/pair (Early purchase / Concession)
S$40/pair (Regular price)

http://www.maybebaby.sg
OR contact
janice_quek@mcys.gov.sg.

Hi People

The other day I had lunch with my daughter at Swensen’s at Bugis Junction. Yes, you have to be there early because it is jam-packed at lunchtime. Their fabulous offer of 1 for 1 is still on!

She was telling me that she was soaked one day because her umbrella gave way because she was caught in an unsheltered stretch from the train station to her office building because of the heavy rain and strong wind. Not to settle for cheap foldable umbrellas anymore, she went to the nearly departmental store to purchase the most hardy one she could find. She went through quite a number and observed that the sales girl all but left her alone while attending to others. She was wondering why? The happy answer came when she was about to pay for her purchase. The sales girl said that all the other customers simply left the umbrellas out of the casings or had difficulty attempting to push them back in but my daughter conscientiously and meticulously managed to restore all the umbrellas she tried nicely back into their original state. The sales girl remarked that her mother must have taught her the art of neatly putting away foldable umbrellas, to which my daughter assented. The sales girl then beamed and said, “Your mother taught you well”. My daughter felt real proud - with her purchase and her mother!

This week, as always, from Mondays to Fridays, my routine is to wake up at 6.30 am to feed our pet dog and take him out for his morning walk. Then it is back at the kitchen to prepare breakfast for my 3 children. My son usually gets his streaky bacon and tomatoes or some cut fruits for his breakfast. Sometimes he just takes some water or his cold Milo. As for my daughters I am learning to be more and more creative and try to give them a choice menu that changes by the day. This is a vast improvement from when it was just a sandwich of bacon or peanut butter or french toast that tasted like it should be, to be frank, tossed out (honest feedback from my wife).

These days it’s honey laced french toast on Monday by chef Simone. (Self concocted recipe: Take 3 eggs and a table spoon of honey and beat well. Then add a cup of fresh milk and beat until it is foamy. Take 10 slices of white bread and cut them into triangles. Heat up frying pan and then add butter. Soak the bread into the egg mixture and immediately place into pan. Make sure both sides of the bread are golden brown. Verdict from my daughters - very light, very warm & delicious, very grateful to the chef).

Tuesday they had Heinz barberque sauce baked beans & streaky bacon from Cold Storage.

Wednesday they will have mushroom chicken soup from Campbell’s and chicken pie from Sunshine Bread.

Thursday it will be Betty Crocker’s pancake and streaky bacon from Cold Storage.

Friday it will be plain white Man Tou with stewed pork.

You must be wondering why I do breakfast and not my wife. She does the dreaded ‘four letter’ work - wash, iron & dust the whole day long and needs her beauty sleep.

Why do I do what I do? Because I observed what my parents did. When my father had retired from his job he was the one who prepared breakfast while my mother slept on a little longer before facing the mountain of work that laid ahead in the day. Happily my parents divided the share of work to be done. I am merely following what my parents modelled for me.

My parents taught me well. Happy parenting!

Hi People

We spoke at a family seminar In Indonesia in early May. I just received a question from one of the participants regarding the question of ‘mummy tax’ that we imposed on our children since young. Here are my thoughts:

‘mummy tax’ is taken from Chapter 15 Price Fixing - Made For Life! from my book The Family CEO - Building A Happy and Successful Family

***

To top it all, all of them contributed 10 percent of whatever income they received to their mum. This principle of ‘mummy tax’ is still in force today, whether they receive a monthly salary of S$1000 or S$3000. It goes without saying that mummy’s fortune will rise and fall according to her children’s work performance as they receive pay raises and fat bonuses or pay cuts!

Our children are taught to follow this model of allocating their monthly income:

10 percent to church/charity
10 percent to ‘mummy tax’
10 percent to save to invest
20 percent to the Central Provident Fund
50 percent to self

***

The principles are more important than the amount that children give to their mother.

‘Mummy tax’ must be enforced at the earliest opportunity, ie the first time the children receive an income, the tax must be enforced. So if the kids earn some money from say a vacation job, they give 10% of that to mummy. If the kids get some income from giving tuition to other kids, they must also give 10% of that to mummy.

From the above we learn

Principle #1 Mummy tax begins the first time the children earn an income.

Principle #2 Mummy tax is enforced no matter how big or small the income is received.

The 10 % is a minimum. In Singapore there is already a high 20 % towards the Central Provident Fund for the individual’s old age and because of the high cost of living, we decided on 10 % for the ‘mummy tax’. So depending on the family circumstances and what is reasonable for everyone to help towards family citizenship rights & responsibilities, you can even set ‘mummy tax’ at 20% or more.

Principle #3 Mummy tax is set at minimum 10 % but could be more depending on what the family decides as reasonable.

So what if the family can well afford it and not need money from the children? We believe it is a good rule and tradition for the children not to take their parents for granted, so a good habit and tradition must be formed from an early age. So collect the ‘mummy tax’ even if parents don’t need the children’s money, then when they get married, the money can be set aside for a generous wedding gift or when you have grandchildren, the money can be used to bless them.

Principle #4 ‘Mummy tax’ is to inculcate a tradition of giving back to the family that nurtured and cared for them when they were growing up.

Running a family requires time, effort and money. Some members give their time and effort - like mothers who clean, wash & iron the laundry and cook for the family, like fathers who go out and earn a living and put food on the table. So even children when small can contribute a little towards the family budget and when big can contribute more towards the family budget and allow the father to retire comfortably in time to come. Money just doesn’t grow on trees.

Principle #5 ‘Mummy tax’ allows every member to contribute to the running of a family.

Remember “Methods are many, principles are few. Methods may vary, principles never will”. Happy taxing.

Hi People

Today is a special day for me. Exactly 11 years ago my mother died on Father’s Day. Whilst growing up, my late mother would regale me with stories of old. She was from the old school and grew up during the colonial era and had a great store of stories from her school days in Methodist Girls’ School and the Singapore Chinese Girls’ School. So in memory of her I would like to share a story she told me when I was a young boy and whenever I felt discouraged and felt like giving up. The story is about Robert the Bruce, King of Scotland. The following story is extracted from the internet and I know it will inspire you as it does me.

Hundreds of years ago there was a king of Scotland and his name was Robert the Bruce. It was a good thing that he was both brave and wise, because the times in which he lived were wild and dangerous. the King of England was at war with him, and had led a great army into Scotland to drive him out of the land and to make Scotland a part of England.

And to this very day, the victory and independence of Scotland is traced to a spider who kept trying again and again to spin her web in a cave and inspired the king of Scotland, Robert the Bruce.

****

Mom, on Father’s Day, I still remember you as such an amazing and inspiring woman. I love you so.

Hi People

Have you seen the current ‘green’ advertisements on TV? - the little ones wishing what their world would be like… “In my world we can wash the skies so that they will always be blue”; “In my world everyone will want to save the earth” etc

Last Saturday 7 men met up to have a mussels feast. The conversation invariably touched on golf and the greens around the world. It was said that Auckland was a beautiful place to settle in because of the beautiful weather and its great golf courses. For non golfers like me, I could only listen intently, green with envy!

Last night 3 middle-aged couples played ‘catch-up’ and renewed our friendship over 15 durians bought from Ah Seng who runs a provision shop in Ghim Moh Estate and sipping green tea. We had a great time reminiscing about days gone by. Our children are all grown up, well mostly, and so we have more time to look up old friends. New friends are like silver but old friends are like gold, so the saying goes. Feast & Fellowship is a great idea among old friends ever so often. (Thank you T & L for arranging the durian feast. Your hospitality is appreciated.)

In our midst was a doctor and so we had a discourse on how to stay healthy and avoid the need to see a doctor altogether. Of course the durians would only add to my high cholesterol level but this was a special occasion. I had my own version of how to stay healthy. We all need to take care of our MEN - M for Medicine, E for Exercise & N for Nutrition.

The good doctor agreed that exercise was good and we need to regularly use 3 important parts of our bodies- our brains, our bones and ‘down under’, otherwise they would atrophy - it’s ‘use it or lose it!’. He is also a firm believer of the goodness of barley green and how it is the answer to many of our health issues. This week I will give these barley pills a go. In the meantime I will keep to my 20X20X20X20 regimen - 20 minutes of hula hoop; 20 push ups, 20 sit ups & 20 minutes of brisk walking. To stay healthy we need not take up golf - the green fees alone is quite a sum, not to mention the golf clubs and a golf membership!

Go make new friends and renew old ones. In the meanwhile I will start popping green barley pills and see if the ‘green’ really shoots!